Totally unprepared

Nothing prepared me for being Mama. Right now, two of my three children are sick and I swear I almost cried in the doctor's office yesterday. I feel so helpless to help them and feel so intensely the urgency of their suffering and need to feel well again. You know me, if you do, and I am not the weepy super compassionate all empathetic person but when my kids are sick, it gets me and I try so hard not to cry right along with them because I feel so bad that they feel so bad. It sucks.
Nothing prepared me for this. For being everything to three someones. The responsibility to train them well and right and know when to go to the doctor, when to discipline, when to watch patiently and let them learn...it is so hard and I feel so inadequate about 95% of the time. yet everyone tells me how well we are doing.