a legacy

I am in tears after reading Nie's blogpost today. Isn't it every mother's fear that they would leave this earth before their children are full grown? Okay, well it's mine and Fairy's and that is every mother enough for me. I think all the time about what kind of legacy I am leaving for them. What will they remember? The good and the bad? My mother and her mother are leaving a legacy. They are kind, patient, strong, very good cooks, great and loyal listeners, supersecret secret keepers, non judgemental, unconditional loving, weather tragic storms with grace and style...I could go on and on.
I do things intentionally to cement ME in the senses of my littles. Aprons, of course. Good food. Nice perfume. Lipstick. Girly clothes. Snuggle time. I tell each of them they are my favorite. Whispered of course so no one else can hear. Singing. Notorious and I write each other notes. This blog. The photo essays of our life. I am intentional. And I hope that they remember that. That I loved them on purpose. That I chose love when it overflowed. And I chose to love when we are tense and at odds. That I modeled grace and beauty even when noone but little grubby kids were looking. That being kind and polite matters, more at home than anywhere else. That we are a family and families are friends first and forever. That we take care of the very old and very young, at expense to our own desires and whims. We take time every night to talk about our day, our best and worst, because I care not just about the good things but the sad and not so good things too.
I hope I am leaving a legacy. I hope I die before they do. But not until they are really really old. My blog friend Nie almost died. Before her accident, her life inspired me to love and give freely. Since her accident, I have taken my appreciation of all things that pertain to raising my children and loving Pompey to another level. Her legacy inspires mine. I am just so thankful we both get to keep going and giving. Loving...