Baby blue

Pitufo has totally relished the excitement of "happy birthday". Won't he be surprised when there are even more gifts to come tomorrow? Yea for him!
I have been reflecting on his birth today. The strangeness of doing ALLL that (no cuss words no cuss words) in a foreign country. Add to that the (no cuss words) SHOCK of my LIFE finding out HE was a BOY when every sono since 20 weeks they told me girl. Wow...ever read Kevin Henkes. It was like out of one of his books. All she could say was Wow.
Fortunately, we had a fine boys name chosen as well and my gut told me to shove a little blue and white outfit in the bag amongst the HUGE mass of pink I was toting to the hospital.
This child, all boy, could not be any more like me. He is my clone and I understand his heart better than anyone else in my life. It is almost like an out of body experience, I really feel when he feels pain, physical and emotional.
I had such a sad childhood in some respects. My mom did an amazing job raising my brother and I with some fun times and great memories but overshadowing alllll of that was the ogre we lived with and how much he despised me in overt and subtle ways. I will forever be scarred by that, although stronger...but I have had this revelation that I can make right all that was made wrong for me through this little person with the exact same, or at least similar, personality. Wow.
His joy is so uncontained yet so reserved for his chosen few. He is a thinker, I am betting he is an internalizer like me, he has great hair, skin tans easier than mine, and all his thoughts are right there on his face, plain as day, and in those soulful eyes.
I was reminded to retell my children's births in a positive light the other day and I got a chance to do that today. To tell my little Pitufo all the amazing things that happened in our lives when he joined it. How much I learned about European government, how lucky he is to have "papers" in two countries, how he has the prestige of being the FIRST little brother in our family and he also gets to be an older brother. I never worry about him getting "lost in the middle" and all that "they" say about middle children, because he has a dearness to my heart differen than anyone else. I probably fear losing him more than the others just because he has such an old soul presence about him , and has seriously since the day he was born. I fear he belongs to another time and place. I can see him growing up to be my best friend, although of the two bigs he prefers the more manly things in life....who knows. They are all too young to speculate about anything. All I know is today, I am in tears with thankfulness that he was born. Knwoing beyond any shadow of any doubt that he came at just the right time, in just the right place, with just the perfect name...
Happy Birthday Pitufo.